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Tue Apr 10 11:53:08 CEST 2012

Back in reobservation?

I think I woke up in reobservation today.  Lots of resentment.  It's
not carrying me away so much but it's definitely there.  Out-of-sync
with things.

EDIT: I don't think it's reobservation, at least not now (13:00).
Maybe it was.  It's more the intensity.

Yesterday I had a couple of dips or blackouts during reclining
meditation, and some pretty strange visual images - reminding me of
drawings I've seen from people on LSD, strange and distorted
caricatures of faces and animals, and they were all looking at me, as
if they suddenly noticed me (a bit like that lizards scene in Fear
And Loathing In Las Vegas ;)

So I'm wondering if these are fruitions.  I didn't have experiences
like this before.  They are new from the last week or so (see [1]).

I had 3 of them in a row, a couple of seconds apart.  The last one I
remember to truly go "dark".  As for afterglow, I don't know.  It left
me a bit confused, as in "was that it?".  After it occured I don't
notice much difference from deep equanimity.  I was tired and a bit in
a weird state (see visual hallucinations above).

Oh, there was a certain fear I seemed to have pierced through by
bravely watching it, which gave a small bliss wave after it dissolved.
No need to go into detail, something that pops up from time to time.

So I don't know if I'm scripting, but everything feels quite intense,
which I recall being another property.

EDIT: Maybe it is (15:15).  I'm very restless atm.

EDIT: Later (23:30), after doing some work, I got irritated a bit
after some communication issues.  Took me on a roll, briefly.
Interrupted my sit.  Should probably go back.

[1] entry://20120402-010859

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