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No-self

Fri + sat evening meditation where uneventful.  Much jitteryness.
Much wandering.  Much desire for going somewhere else.  Desire for
going on a tangent.  Desire for floating in content and good feeling
of novelty.

Morning meditation clearly about suffering.  Much wandering again.

Then I saw some clear visual flickering.  Strobes 5-10 Hz, on-off say
1 second on, 3 seconds off.

After that I had some feeling of insight about separateness and how it
creates suffering, manifested mostly by content (current disagreement
/ misaligned expectation between me and my wife), but also some kind
of fundamental feeling: sadness that this is not necessary.

The rest of the day I had a bit of a backlash.  Much "stuff".  Current
stuff, past stuff.  Feeling of separateness and aggrevation.

Interpretation:

- strobes: vibrations?  From Daniel's book (paraphrased): many
  emotional experiences can be due to suggestion, though the raptures
  often are not.  maybe this could be an indicator of where I'm at on
  the map.. currently I don't know.

- stuff: Ego (illusion of self) bouncing back from the shock of being
  seen as a hindrance or even evil?




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